100 Nullbear Kills - Part 5: Filamenting is Dumb

Out of endless white nothing, came a thought - I am Syeed Ameer Ali.

The transfer of memory came as a psychic shock, a flood of images - children at play on the Vherokior homeworld, the dull monotony of lectures at the Republic University, the series of operations that made him a capsuleer, the explosions of countless carebears.

Syeed sat upright, shoving the lid of his clone vat out of the way as he climbed out. Viscous biogels oozed and dripped down the smooth, naked skin of his fresh clone.

A random ball of Redeeemers I saw

As his eyes adjusted to the soft white lighting of the Uemon Zainou Biotech Production station clone bay, he saw a cluster of harried looking medical technicians briskly walking towards him. Non-capsuleers - barely worth acknowledging. He waved them away impatiently, pulling various tubes and wires out of his orifaces and tossing them aside. Syeed was no stranger to the transfer of consciousness from a dead clone to a living. The process held no more trauma for him.

He put on a bathrobe and slippers that he found neatly arranged by the side of his clone vat and opened a channel to his intelligence network. “Come in, Hummingbird, this is Dirtbag 1. Acknowledge,” he said.

“Welcome back to Uemon, Dirtbag 1,” the spy chirped happily. “Will you be staying long this time?”

“No way, Hummingbird. We need to get cracking if we’re going to kill 100 nullbears by the end of the month. I need you to fit and provision another Osprey Navy Issue for an expedition. Oh - and bring filaments this time.”

“Wait a minute, boss. Didn’t you say you tried filamenting when they came out and didn’t have any success with it?”

“Well yes, Hummingbird, but other people seem to be getting kills that way. I can’t deny that. Perhaps I didn’t give it enough of a chance. Fit the ship! We leave as soon as I take a shower…”

The elusive Vexor

…the following day.

“Damnit, Hummingbird, filamenting sucks!” Syeed gurgled. “Why did I let you talk me into this?”

“It hasn’t been that bad. You killed a Moa, and a Coercer…”

“After hours of hopping back and forth all over nullsec! The Moa wasn't a nullbear, they were another solo PvPer. They were probably also filamenting around failing to catch ratters. The Coercer wasn’t even in null, we found it on a shortcut through the faction warfare zone. It was a Horde pilot though, so they totally count as a nullbear kill.

“Filamenting has the same fundamental problem as classical roaming in nullsec. You jump into a system and all the bears see you in local and run for the nearest citadel. You can only catch the ones that are either afk or bait. We never should have deviated from the Philosophy of Lurking. Where in the name of Bob are we anyway?”

“Welp… let me consult the map, Dirtbag 1,” the scout replied. “It seems we are in…Delve.”

“Excellent. Lay in a course for 1DQ1-A.”

to be continued...

 

100 Nullbear Kills - Part 4: Leaving R1O-GN

 “Die Vexor. Um…eat missiles or something…” Syeed sighed as he dispatched yet another Pandemic Horde ratter.

“Scratch another bogey, Dirtbag 1,” Hummingbird chirped as the pirate warped away from the smoking wreckage. “Securing the loot. Say, is there something bothering you? You don’t seem like your usual enthusiastic self.”

“Well this project is obviously going well, Hummingbird,” Syeed told the spy as he ascended to the interdimensional zone. “Almost too well. The Philosophy of Lurking is obviously successful on a surprising scale. Who knew that simply trying not to die in PvP engagements would result in so many kills? I’ve massacred dozens of Vexors. Algoses, Ishtars, a Navy Drake, a Noctis, mining barges, Ventures, etc etc. I have never in my life had so many killmarks on a ship.”

“So where’s the problem, boss? We’re making good isk too. Our little operation is well on its way to becoming one of the top dealerships for Drone Damage Amplifier IIs in the Kalevala Expanse, not to mention the faction loot that the Ishtars drop.”

“Well, as you recall from reading my blog, before my last hiatus I had gotten my mojo back as a solo PvPer in lawless space. I was pretty happy about that, but I was still trying to find fights mostly by traditional roaming, and relying on the Philosophy of Unconstrained Belligerence. Sometimes I was spending 2 or 3 hours hunting between each kill. I also was taking quite a few dumb losses. I dabbled at filamenting and ESS robbery a bit, but neither one really worked out for me.”

“Yes, Dirtbag 1. I seem to recall…uh…reading about that in your blog,” the spy replied.

“So I came up with the Philosophy of Lurking as an experiment, looking for a way to consistently get PvP action with very limited playtime. As you can see, it has worked well for us.

“However, I also had some other ideas I wanted to try. But when we started this I decided that I would not leave R1O-GN until I lost my ship. I never expected that it would take more than a week. I’m beginning to think that Pandemic Horde is simply not capable of killing me. I admit I’m getting a little impatient.”

“Well, it’s true that they are pretty bad,” Hummingbird mused. “Oh hey, I’ve got eyes on another Vexor.”

“Roger,” Syeed said, dropping to normal space and warping to the anomaly.

The cruiser floated blithely, watching it’s drones engage the NPCs. “I’ve got point. Missiles away,” Syeed said. Soon the Vexor exploded. The pirate orbited the wreck.

“Dirtbag 1, you’d better get out of there. I’ve got multiple bogeys on short scan,” Hummingbird chirped.

Syeed grinned. “Time to go home,” he said.

Seconds later, dozen of ships dropped out of warp - the Standing Fleet had arrived. Syeed target locked the closest ship. “UNCONSTRAINED BELLIGERENCE!” he gurgled through pod goo, and fired his missiles.

A hail of missiles, colorful lasers, and assorted projectiles made short work of his Navy Osprey. Syeed felt a concussive thump as the ejection charges threw his capsule clear of the smoking wreckage. He immediately engaged his warp drive and zoomed away to a safe waypoint, leaving the celebrating Pandemic Horde standing fleet behind.

“Ha ha, you crazy boss,” Hummingbird laughed over comms.

Syeed chuckled. “I figure I have to let them  have a win every once in awhile,” he said as he initiated his capsule’s self-destruct sequence. “I was worried about their low self-esteem. Now, on to the next phase!”

His senses perceived a flash of light as a cocktail of euthanasia drugs were injected into his brain stem via his capsule interface. Then the self-destruction charges breached the pod itself, leaving Syeed Ameer Ali’s lifeless, frozen corpse floating in the void of space.

to be continued...

Nullbears killed - 40

Losses - 2

100 Nullbear Kills - Part 3: The Philosophy of Lurking

Syeed maneuvered through the debris field of another fallen Vexor. Communicating telepathically with his Osprey Navy Issue’s thrusters via the circuitry implanted in his clone’s cerebral cortex, he aligned to a distant waypoint and engaged his warp drive.

“Scratch another bogey, Hummingbird,” he gurgled through viscous pod goo. “Scoop the loot and find the next one.”

“Roger that, Dirtbag 1,” the spy replied. “Oh hey, this frozen corpse looks familiar. Another Kalsigh Ravencrest.”

“Throw it on the pile with the rest of them, I guess. I do feel a little bad though. Do you think we should-“

“Stop blowing up Kalsigh’s ships?”

“What!? HAHAHAHAHAHA-“ Syeed’s laughter ended in a series of choking, gurgling coughs. “Gack! You’re killing me Hummingbird. I inhaled half a gallon of pod goo. Don’t make me laugh so hard.”

“Sorry boss.”

Bubbles on the LXQ2-T gate

“Anyway, I was going to say maybe we should offer them the opportunity to pay ransom. I feel bad for killing them so many times, but there’s the Pirate’s Code to consider. If they don’t want to die, they need to pay.”

“I recommend against breaking radio silence, Dirtbag 1. I know that your PvP instincts were honed on the battlefields of highsec, where no encounter is complete without a healthy exchange of trash talk, but things are different out here. You’ve killed like 30 noobs in the last few days, but you’re still flying under the radar of the standing fleet for the most part. You’ve only been mentioned in the intel channels a handful of times.”

“You’re probably right, Hummingbird. Announcing myself would go against the Philosophy of Lurking,” the pirate said. “Stand by for safe log-off.”

“The Philosophy of what? Wait - I’ve got another target. Think you can handle an Ishtar?”

“Welp, there’s one way to find out.”

With a telepathic nudge, Syeed’s Osprey lurched back into Normal Space and entered warp.

Moments later he was staring down Jmac Hakaari of Pandemic Horde, in their shiny Ishtar class heavy assault cruiser. Like most nullbears, Jmac was occupied with assaulting innocent NPCs and didn’t immediately react to the flashy red pirate in their vicinity.

Activating his microwarpdrive, Syeed bore down on the target. “Die, fool!” he gurgled through a mouthful of pod goo as he unleashed the first salvo of missiles.

The nullbear attempted evasive maneuvers but their efforts were futile. Syeed’s souped-up Osprey Navy Issue was too fast, and quickly closed the distance.

In an act of desperation, Jmac instructed their powerful Praetor II drones to switch targets from the harmless NPCs to Syeed. Their lasers blasted his shields.

“Missile racks empty! Reloading!” Syeed cried. With a thought he activated the excruciatingly slow process of reloading his rapid light missile launchers, as he directed his much weaker Acolyte II drones to continue the assault, and rapidly orbited to mitigate the incoming laser fire from Jmac’s larger drones.

“Look out, Dirtbag 1, you’ve got company,” his spy warned.

A klaxon sounded aboard the Navy Osprey. Aura’s smooth, robotically feminine voice warned, “Proximity alert. Multiple hostiles inbound.”

“Poop poop poop,” Syeed cursed, activating his directional scanner. The heads-up display floating in his capsule showed a list of dozens of fearsome warships within 1 AU of his position. He eyeballed the progress of reloading his missile racks - 75%.

Another alarm sounded. “Shield integrity at 10%,” Aura pleasantly intoned.

Suddenly, a Stiletto class interceptor appeared on Syeed’s overview at a range of 50km.

Syeed telepathically activated his maneuvering thrusters to prepare a warp vector, just as a chirp from his HUD indicated his missiles were ready. He focused his thoughts on the launch code, “F1”, waited an instant for the first two volleys of missiles to leave the launchers, then activated his warp drive.

A resounding boom echoed throughout the vacuum of space behind him, signaling the destruction of the Ishtar, as he zoomed away to safety. In the last instant before he got away, dozens of hostile vessels filled the grid - Pandemic Horde’s infamous Standing Fleet.

“Loot secured,” Hummingbird chirped as Syeed activated his cloaking device. “Congratulations, Dirtbag 1. Your ship has paid for itself. From here on out, this expedition is operating in the black.”

“Excellent,” Syeed said as he assessed the damage to his lightly singed Osprey. “Uh…I’m going to need you to drop an Armor Repairer and some drones at the supply cache when you have a moment.”

After the fight

“Sure thing, boss,” the spy replied. “Anyway, what were you talking about before? The Philosophy of Something Something?”

“Ah yes, the Philosophy of Lurking. Allow me to explain…”

“As you know, Hummingbird, from reading the entire 40,000 pages of my blog leading up to this point, over the years I have employed a distinct style of solo PvP in lawless space. I never bothered to give that style a name before, but let’s call it the Philosophy of Unconstrained Belligerence. The name pretty much says it all.

“This PvP expedition represents a distinct departure from that system. I have come to realize that while unconstrained belligerence certainly has its merits, the state of New Eden has evolved, and my goals and expectations and personal limitations have evolved. I’m 12 years older now than when I started PvPing. I have a toddler. I have a life outside the-“

“Hold up, Dirtbag 1. Did you just say you have your child aboard a pirate ship in hostile space?!”

“I pay you to hunt nerds and listen to monologues, Hummingbird. Not to ask stupid questions.”

“Pardon the interruption.”

“Anyway, as I was saying, a new approach is called for. I figured I would try moving in to a nice system in nullsec where there are hundreds of people to shoot at 24/7, but instead of unconstrained belligerence, I would try restraint. I would make it an exercise of trying to stay alive as long as possible rather than trying to get kills as fast as possible. Careful scouting. Logging off in space. Avoiding fights, and only doing fast hit and run attacks against anything I think I can gank and get away before the blob lands. Running away at the first sign of trouble. In short, the exact opposite of how I usually PvP. 

“The Philosophy of Lurking is not about goodfights or e-bushido, it’s about farming nullbears for loot. And the resounding success of this expedition seems to be proof that the idea has merit.

“I’d tell you more, Hummingbird, but the exact details are…classified for the time being.  Perhaps another time.”

“...Huh? Were you still talking, Dirtbag 1? I think I dozed off there for a minute. But - oh hey! A Drake Navy Issue, right over there.”

“On my way,” Syeed said, dropping into Normal Space.

…to be continued.

Unrelated Stratios

The Ballad of Kalsigh Ravencrest

Kalsigh Ravencrest, Pandemic Horde

 In the red sun the rogue drones glowed

As Kalsigh Ravencrest approached

Their Vexor swift, their mighty drones

Drove the NPCs from their homes

They blew up all the rats and then

They warped to the next site and did it again

O krabbing was the finest thing

It made their wallet go “cha-ching”

O Kalsigh liked to krab all day

In R1O-GN they would play

They didn’t stop to pee or pray

They were krabbing AFK

They were krabbing AFK

They had no fear of enemies

They felt so safe and fancy free

They would krab from 4 to 3

Until the day they met Syeed

Until the day they met Syeed

Then from the night the pirate came

Syeed of Dirtbag Warrior fame

His Osprey warped where Kalsigh floated

His missiles flashed, and they exploded

“Sweet Kalsigh,” said Syeed, “Listen here

Ratting AFK is dangerous, I fear

But pay 100 million isk to me

And you can krab in total safety”

Kalsigh said “Hey listen guy

You must be pretty friggin high

If you think that you can possibly beat

The Pandemic Horde standing fleet!”

“You got lucky once,” they said

“But try again and you’ll be dead

With no delay you shall be killed

For I have joined a mighty guild!”

Random beauty shot

O Kalsigh liked to krab all day

In R1O-GN they would play

They didn’t stop to pee or pray

They were krabbing AFK

They were krabbing AFK

They had no fear of enemies

They felt so safe and fancy free

They would krab from 4 to 3

Until the day they met Syeed

Until the day they met Syeed

So Kalsigh’s Vexor went in space

Chasing NPCs all over the place

So when Syeed’s Osprey came to call

They weren't terrified at all

“Www,” in Fleet they cried

But in moments their Vexor died

The standing fleet ran to and fro

But for Syeed they were too slow

He blew their Vexor up and then

He did it again, and again, again and again

And just when we thought that he was through

He blew up another Vexor too

O Kalsigh liked to krab all day

In R1O-GN they would play

They didn’t stop to pee or pray

They were krabbing AFK

They were krabbing AFK

They had no fear of enemies

They felt so safe and fancy free

They would krab from 4 to 3

Until the day they met Syeed

Until the day they met Syeed

Some say Kalsigh is still out there

Krabbing AFK somewhere

But if that’s true, don’t be concerned

Pretty soon their ship will burn

When Kalsigh goes to bed at night

There’s one thing that brings them fright

Even though the evening quiet seems

Flashy red Syeed  invades their dreams

Come now children, gather near

‘Cuz there’s a big life lesson here-

If you want to krab with zero risk

Pay Syeed 100 million isk

100 Nullbear Kills - Part 2: The Slaughter of Newbeans

 Syeed drifted in pod goo, at the controls of his Osprey Navy Issue. It hung suspended in the gray mists of the interdimensional space, somewhere between logging in and going outside for some fresh air and exercise.

A chirp from the control panel roused him from his meditations. An incoming signal. With a thought, Syeed opened a channel.

“Dirtbag 1, come in. This is Hummingbird,” his comrade’s voice announced. “We have a target. Stand by to receive coordinates…”

“Excellent,” Syeed gurgled. (His mouth was full of pod goo.) He initiated the login sequence, and within seconds his ONI was hurtling through Normal Space at warp speed, the red sun of R1O-GN glistening on the jet black hull of his pirate ship.

yes I got the expensive paint job

Seconds later Syeed dropped out of warp in a mining anomaly. A Pandemic Horde pilot, Zikky P, was hovering motionless next to an asteroid in his Procurer class mining barge, slowly watching his ore hold fill, oblivious to any danger.

“Contact! Engaging!,” Syeed roared. With the lightning reflexes of an elite capsuleer peaking on boosters, he closed in on the barge and activated his warp disruptor. “Eat Mjolnir!” he gurgled, unleashing a sustained barrage of rapid-fire light missiles.

The Procurer’s shields melted under the onslaught, and great rents appeared in its hull. Moments later the vacuum of space…uh…echoed with a loud thump as the mining barge’s warp core breached, and the ship broke apart in the resulting explosion. As the dust cleared, Zikky P’s pod became visible, hovering motionless in the debris field. One more salvo of missiles sent the defeated capsuleer home.

“Scratch one bogey,” Syeed said. “Bugging out like we rehearsed.”

He warped his Osprey Navy Issue to a safe spot, and deployed a mobile depot. Then he used the fitting service to install a prototype cloaking device. Scooping the depot again, he activated his cloak and settled back to wait out his aggression timer.

“Loot secured,” Hummingbird said. “These strip miners will fetch a decent price when I sell them back to Horde in their own market. Keep them coming.”

“Hummingbird, patch in the feed from Horde Standing Fleet comms. Let’s see what they’re saying about me.”

Syeed relaxed and watched as lines of text scrolled across the heads-up display floating in his pod.

Roar Tivianne > Katarina Illuminato neut?

Max Churchill > yeah

Max Churchill > fancypants alliance is meant to be treated neutral

Roar Tivianne > they have acces to our ansi's?

Tiendiel > yes, fancypants corp is part of horde, they set up an alliance for AT

Parvizl > Roar Tivianne fancypants alliance is horde people that created a new alliance for the tournament

Jack Lagash > they're neut to us tho

Max Churchill > yes, you can fight them

Tiendiel > if they are on tether leave them be tho

Roar Tivianne > OK. thanks

“Seems we’re still flying under the radar,” he said a few minutes later. “I’m heading back to the logoff zone. Call me when you have another target.” He disappeared from Normal Space.

Soon after, the spy pinged again. An Algos, ratting. The same pilot, in fact, as the Algos Syeed had destroyed with a Hecate the day before - Ingram Ironheart. Syeed killed them again. An hour later - another Ingram Ironheart Algos. Then a pair of Ventures. Then Algos number four for Ingram.. A Vexor. A Merlin. Another Vexor.

Ship after ship was torn apart by Syeed’s missiles. 400 capsuleers were in local, all of them except for Syeed were in Pandemic Horde or their allies. And still he flew to and fro murdering noobs with impunity, completely unnoticed by any intel channels, ignored by the Standing Fleet.

“Hummingbird, you’re in Horde. What the heck is going on? Why is this so easy?” Syeed asked, as he waited out his timer after another Vexor kill.

“Well, boss, it seems there has been an announcement from CCP (the great demon who controls the universe, as you know). The Newbeans are all riled up about it. The capsuleers here in R1O-GS are all ratting completely afk, while the players that control them are paying attention to their other clones in Jita.”

“One capsuleer controlling two clones simultaneously? Surely such a thing is impossible!” Syeed gurgled.

“Oh it’s possible to do, Dirtbag 1, just not possible to do well. Hence the easy pickings here. Their attention is focused on Jita, where they are shooting at a statue in protest because CCP is proposing to alter the laws of the universe to nerf AFK Rorqual mining.”

“Wait, Hummingbird, I don’t understand. CCP is allowing AFK Rorqual mining!? This is an outrage! We should be in Jita protesting too!”

“No, no, you don’t understand. AFK Rorqual mining has been a thing for years while you were winning EVE. The good citizens of nullsec are upset that it won’t be a thing anymore. They just really, really like AFK mining in Rorquals. Well, most of them actually don’t do that, but the rich ones that do have informed the others that they should be outraged, so they’re all there in Jita, while their neglected alternate clones AFK rat here in R1O-GN.”

“They are like sheep! Can they not think for themselves?”

“No, Dirtbag 1, not sheep. They are bears. Nullbears.”

Score

Nullbears killed: 20

Losses: 1

Will Syeed succeed at killing 100 nullbears by the end of November? Will he manage to kill anything bigger than a Vexor? Will he ever stop writing about himself in the third person? Tune in next time to find out…

100 Nullbear Kills - Part 1: Hecate Raid on R1O-GN

I undocked from the Perkone Factory in Uemon, home sweet home, in a sleek Hecate that had been sitting mostly neglected in my hangar, apart from a few Venture kills, since I moved into the area in January. To me, these new-fangled T3 destroyers are still a bit confusing. Three different modes? What the heck am I supposed to do with that, right? Don't I have enough to deal with just managing my modules? Nevertheless, I have been impressed by the high dps and versatility of the Hecate. I had been wanting to play with one and see what it could do. So I set my course for R1O and took off.

I took the direct route. Nine jumps across Etherium Reach. When I jumped from Paala into LXQ2-T, I quickly realized that things had changed. When last I played EVE, back during the war, this strategic system was largely abandoned, save for a few ratters. Now there were bubbles around the gate, and a host of Pandemic Legion folks sitting on a nearby citadel. Pandemic Legion still exists - who knew? 

Anyway, I warped off to a perch, avoiding the bubbles, then went to investigate the next gate. It was bubbled too, though not as heavily. A stiletto followed me, but with a bit of misdirection, and a little back and forth, I successfully shook off my tail and continued the rest of the way to R1O unimpeded.

As I arrived in R1O, I took note of a striking difference from last January - I was the only neutral in local. Previously, there would have been at least a couple cloaky campers, if nothing else. I had heard rumors of a new deployable structure called a Mobile Observatory or some such, that was supposed to be the death of cloaky camping as a playstyle. As an occasional cloaky camping enjoyer myself, I had been somewhat critical of such a change to the game. However, my opinion on the matter has shifted, and as this story continues I think you will see why.

I soon dscanned my first target. Pippin Tobin was ratting in an Algos. I kept my Hecate in propulsion mode and warped in. The target was at 80 km, orbiting a wide circle around the anomaly. I burned for them, activating my microwarpdrive. They sicced their drones on me and I began taking a surprising amount of damage (I had not learned to manage both the multiple modes of a T3 destroyer and an active tank at the same time - maybe I never will).  Soon I was in close range. My warp scrambler and dual stasis webifiers pinned Tobin down, and I switched to sharpshooter mode and fired my blasters, shredding their little T1 dessie in seconds.

It was getting a little late for me, so I then bounced between safe spots until my aggression timer was done. I probably needn't have bothered - nobody reported me on the intel channels. The denizens of nullsec seemed to feel safe in their homes.  They felt no need to scroll through the 300 names in local to spot the one neutral, whose name starts with "S". Pippin wasn't piping up to warn them of danger either. I did a safe logoff.

The Next Day

The next day, a little bird told me that Skegg0x, of Pandemic Horde was mining in a Procurer in an anomaly, surrounded by a cloud of Mining Drone Is. I logged in and warped to their location, activating my warp scrambler and firing my blasters. I was a little concerned about the Procurer's formidable drone bay and what it could do to a Hecate. As a decade-long frigate specialist, I am always mindful of light drones.

Fortunately for me, Skegg0x had filled their drone bay with spare Mining Drone Is. Because you never know when you're going to need additional Mining Drone Is.

Anyway, they went down in flames.

No other targets presented themselves, so I bounced between safes for 15 minutes. Nobody mentioned me in Horde intel channels. Is the standing fleet sleeping? I wondered. My instincts told me I should mouth off a bit in local chat, but I hesitated. If they haven't even noticed I'm here yet, how far can I push this? I logged Syeed off.

Shortly after, my birdies reported Ingram Ironheart, a pilot I would ultimately meet on several occasions in the near future, ratting with another Algos. They didn't fare much better than Pippin Tobin.

Again, I bounced around for 15 minutes and logged off. The bouncing was getting a little tedious, but I was having a blast just plauing casually, logging in for 30 minutes now and then, getting an easy kill, then logging off. This would be easier and more fun with a cloaking device so I don't have to warp back and forth while I wait out my aggression timer, I thought.

James Ocker - Master Baiter

A couple hours after my encounter with Ingram, my intel network reported James Ocker mining in a mining anomaly with something called a "Porpoise". One of those new fangled ships that I don't know about yet. What does a Porpoise do? Some kind of mining ship I think. Mining ships die easy, right? There was also another fellow there in a Procurer, but I ignored them. I was interested in cracking open one of these new Porpoises to find out what might be inside.

I warped in Syeed and threw scram and webs up on James Ocker, then blasted away. Disappointingly, my blasters were only slowly chewing away at a beefy shield buffer. Then I found myself warp scrambled and webbed by the Porpoise. A trap.

Next thing, the grid was filling up with the TKE Standing Fleet, and I died - but successfully warped off with my pod and pod-jumped back to Uemon.

Reflections

My adventure with the Hecate had been an illuminating experience. I have wasted hundreds, possibly thousands of hours of my life roaming around looking for kills over the years. It's true that I have gotten some good kills that way, but most of the time the action was really slow - an hour or more of roaming for every kill.

That's why I gravitated to highsec PvP back in the day. Highsec is the most target rich environment. Back when we had classical wardecs and watchlists, I could just visit my wartargets in an Incursus with perfect offgrid boosts and get easily accessible 1vX PvP in highsec at any time of day. 

But, disappointingly, not many people appreciated classical wardecs in the way that I did. Least of all CCP, who nerfed them out of the game. Ever since, I have been adrift, looking for a playstyle that gave me the same kind of fun as wardecs did, but not finding it. Dabbling at participating in the big null blocs, and smaller corporations as well, but never finding a good fit.

Something about that roam in R1O felt like the potential of a new playstyle for me. There were like 300 people in local, every one of them in Horde or blue to Horde except for Syeed. Unless their monitors are huge, that means they need to scroll down to spot me in local. There's an obvious degree of anonymity in that - I got 4 kills over the course of  more than a day before anyone mentioned me in the intel channels. The one obnoxious thing about this was needing to wait out the aggression timers before doing a safe log off. With a cloaking device, though, I could do that afk.

This also suits my casual approach to the game. I have a wife and kid, I can't just plug into EVE all day at this stage of my life - but I can grab 30 minutes here and there, log in and immediately find a PvP encounter, then log out. I don't have the time to roam, but if I just live full time in a target rich environment - and the staging systems of the largest nullsec blocs are target rich environments - then maybe I can find action fast enough to work with my lifestyle.

It'll buff out

But I wasn't sure about the Hecate. It was fun to fly, but there were just too many buttons to keep track of - active tank, different modes. I'm just back from a break. I'm rusty. I needed something easier to fly. Also, I enjoyed the Hecate's dps, but it is flimsy. And I wanted something which could stay out of scram/web range, because if I got scrammed and webbed I would always be a sitting duck for the Standing Fleet. The Hecate had awesome dps, but it was also very flimsy. If I'm going to hunt ratters in nullsec, I want to be able to kill Ishtars and Gilas. I know that Hecates do kill these successfully, but they also get killed in those encounters a lot too.

I looked at my hangar and settled on an Osprey Navy Issue. This time, I put a Mobile Depot and Prototype Cloaking Device in the cargo hold.

100 Nullbear Kills

I used to come back from a break and run a solo wardec first thing to get the rust out before considering joining a corporation. That can no longer be done. I needed a new tradition to get myself back in the game. I wanted to join a corporation and find new space friends, as most of my old circle are long gone, but I didn't want to rush into another corporation that doesn't suit me, having been down that road a few times.

So I set myself a goal - get 100 solo kills before even looking at corporations. With a bonus goal - do it before the end of November.

I hopped into my Navy Osprey and again laid in a course for R1O-GN.

Lowsec Patrols

Note: This article was written back in February but I never published it until now. A bit dated, but it's a part of my story that should be told. Shortly after these events I took a break from EVE, returning on Halloween. More shenanigans coming soon!

It was an slow Thursday evening. My little bird flew from its nest in Uemon and went all the way to Molden Heath looking for targets, to no avail, before he gave up and began making his way home. As he passed through Ofage, a system which continues to yield fine killmails, he noticed Ms. SabbathRules, of Hollow Point Collective, in local chat. Nothing was on dscan, nobody was hanging out in the local freeport.

Always a thorough scout, Little Bird did not give up so easily. Ofage is a rather large system. There are several planets which are out of dscan range from anywhere else. He fluttered his little wings and flew to a random moon of one such planet to see what there was to see. It was a lucky guess. Ms. SabbathRules was sitting right there in a Stratios, next to her mobile depot. At that point, I had not seen a great target in my neighborhood for some time. Ventures and T1 haulers, the occasional belt ratting destroyer, these had been my latest kills. My last Orca kill had just slipped off my 7 day highlights on zkillboard. I was itchy for something with a little bling, and Stratioses are a ship class that often gets fitted expensively.

Stratios

"What do I have that I can kill a Stratios with?" I asked myself. The Stratios, for those who do not already know, is an awesome cloaky faction cruiser. A massive drone bay, plenty of capacitor to operate several medium energy neutralizers at length, a versatile 5/5/5 slot layout. These things wreck pretty much whatever they need to wreck, when competently fitted and flown. SabbathRules was a newer character, but I don't trust in that since skill injectors came out. She had not yet lost a Stratios, so I couldn't check her likely fit on zkill. 

I considered a Brutix, a Hurricane, a Loki, and dismissed them all. My first time flying a Stratios, years ago, I killed two Brutixes without breaking a sweat. My Hurricane fit was inferior to my Brutix fit in every aspect except range, so that wasn't a great option either. Plus, without a covops cloak, I worried that the Strat would see me coming and disappear. Stratioses are slippery - the key to victory would have to be surprise. My Loki could probably do the job, but I'm a little nervous flying strategic cruisers, due to losing one embarrassingly when I logged in for a week last year to check out the nullsec blackout. In the end, I decided that a Stratios vs. Stratios 1v1 was the fight I should try to engineer. See - a fair fight. Nobody can accuse me of poor sportsmanship.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, my little son needed me, so I left my little bird cloaked and afk, and walked away from EVE for awhile. When I came back, Stratios and depot were gone. With regret, I gave up and went on looking for more targets. Everywhere I went, I came up dry. It was a slow night in Uemon.

The Next Day

My little bird once again roamed to Ofage, and was surprised to see SabbathRules in local again. "I wonder if she put her mobile depot in the same spot?" I mused.

Lo and behold, there it was, in the exact same location as before. A beautiful, glistening mobile depot, shining like a jewel in the moonlight. I had Ms. SabbathRules patterned. She shows up in Ofage, puts her mobile depot at that particular moon, warps off and does god-knows-what all cloaked up or off dscan in this huge system, then comes back and scoops her depot when she is done.

I undocked Syeed in his Stratios, and made best speed for Ofage. When I got there, I maneuvered under cloak to within 5km of the mobile depot. I wanted to be right on top of her when she decloaked. Then I waited. 

I wasn't sure how long it would be, so I kept one eye on my laptop and started making some baby food. I got my oven pre-heating and sliced a large butternut squash along the grain. Then I took a nice sharp edged spoon and began scooping out the seeds.

Suddenly SabbathRules decloaked in her Stratios next to the depot, 6.7km from me. I tossed my squash onto the counter, seeds flying everywhere, then dropped cloak and locked her up. My warp scrambler and dual stasis webifers snared her beyond any hope of escape as I spun up my energy neutralizers and deployed a flight of Ogre IIs.

Ms. SabbathRules thought only of escape. She unleashed a flight of ECM drones and tried ineffectually to maneuver away. She made no effort to shoot at me with her Domination 650mm Artillery, which would not have been effective in such a close orbit anyway. Moments later her Stratios exploded. 

With great satisfaction I plundered the most expensive modules from the wreckage of her ship and then returned to my lair in Uemon. I continued preparing butternut squash purée with a smug grin on my face. Finally, a little isk coming my way to make up for all the Stabbers I've been losing.

Strat down

Meeting DarkSide.

Later on, I was scouting for more targets when Little Bird spotted another Orca jumping into Tasti from Messoya. The pilot was Halbarad Deis of Mastracorp - a generic mining corporation of no particular distinction. As I watched, the pilot warped off to an NPC station. A situation worth keeping an eye on, I reflected. 

I continued along my usual scouting route, not finding any other interesting targets, then swung back through Tasti again. Right there in a mining anomaly, in plain dscan range from the Otosela gate, was Mr. Deis in his Orca, along with two of his corpmates in a Venture and a Procurer. Nobody else was in local at that moment.

The situation was urgent. This was a fairly high traffic location. Other people were going to notice. The life expectancy of that Orca could be measured in minutes. Somebody was going to kill him, and I wanted that somebody to be me. 

I undocked in the Brutix I had purchased specifically for slaying Orcas. My readers will recall that last week I had found that killing an Orca in a Hurricane took an excessively long time, so I went shopping for a higher dps option. At 982 unheated dps, a blaster Brutix was the solution I had come up with. It was 2 jumps from Uemon to my target.

As I jumped into Tasti, I clicked on the ore anomaly and hit "warp to zero". But then, unexpectedly, a Guristas rat on the gate locked me up and warp disrupted me. Fuck! And here I am, defending NPCs against the brutal aggressions of PVEers all day long. You would think they could show a little more gratitude. I deployed a flight of light drones and set about killing the rats on the gate.

Meanwhile, two DarkSide pilots jumped into system and turned up on grid with me at the gate in a Stiletto and a Phantasm. Things were looking worse and worse. They had to be seeing the mining gang on dscan, even while they considered what to do with me. I could already feel this whole operation going sour. They were going to go after the Orca, I knew it. And if I was there, they would get me too. Taking me on the gate wasn't going to be a winning situation for them because of gate guns, but in an anomaly? I was fucked.

On the other hand, not killing that Orca wasn't an option. The red mist of battle had clouded my eyes. I finished off the offending rat, recalled my drones, and went into the asteroid anomaly brazenly, while the DarkSide pilots watched.

Naturally, the Stiletto followed me in. We landed 40km from the miners. I spooled up my microwarpdrive and went directly for the Orca. The DarkSide interceptor landed a warp disruptor on me. I launched a flight of Hobgoblins and sent them his way as I made for Halbarad with all possible speed. For real, that Stiletto pilot needed to be getting his priorities straight, I thought. There was an Orca on grid. We could sort out our differences later. 

My drones did their job, and forced Stiletto-Person off the grid, just as the other DarkSide guy in the Phantasm was landing. Then another one in a Daredevil. It didn't matter though. I had already accepted that my Brutix was fucked. I just wanted to see the Orca burn.

I smashed into Halbarad, warp scrambled him and unleashed all 1106 heated dps of hull tanked fury on their absurd lowsec afk mining operation. Orcas are tanky as heck now with all the EHP buffs that they have received over the years. Really slow things to kill, but this Brutix fit was made for Orca-slaying. Pretty soon the shield alarm had to have been going off. Whether he noticed, I can't say. Three DarkSide Stilettos landed on grid, including my misguided friend from earlier. Then a Thrasher, an Ares, a Cynabal, an Orthrus, a Loki, a Legion, a Stratios, a Gnosis, a Guardian and a Lachesis. Red boxes everywhere.

My shields and armor began stripping away. I was right in the center of a drone storm with Halbarad. Blasters and autocannons and lasers and shit blasting everywhere. I barely noticed. I had complete tunnel vision on killing Halbarad. It was taking awhile though. As they went into low hull, I noticed that my own hull tank was holding up pretty well. Like really well. Then I noticed that there were no points on me. Huh, I thought. I guess my work is done here.

I warped off to a station and docked up, then alt-tabbed over to my covops scout and watched Halbarad's Orca explode. 

2nd lowsec Orca kill in a week

The Syeed Maneuver - a Tragedy

To me, citadels are new fangled things that I don't understand. I'm a dinosaur who really only has a very shaky understanding of current game mechanics. Yet I seem to be able to make up for that through just pure reckless aggression, and a few tricks I've learned.

I don't really know what citadels can and can't do. I know they can fit weapons. I actually briefly owned several highsec citadels after I heisted them back in 2018, as my long term readers may remember. But I only played around with the mechanics a little bit before unanchoring and selling them. I'm still living off that isk today.

But I have figured out one thing about citadels. People tether to them and then go afk sometimes. They believe that they are safe. They are not. The tether only extends a certain distance from the citadel. What that distance is, I don't know exactly. But I know that if you bump an afk ship away from a citadel, at some point the tether disappears and you can kill them. I call this "the Syeed Maneuver". I've gotten 5 or 6 kills that way.

However, as I was to learn, it is not without risks. Shortly after the Orca kill, I was patrolling a bit in my Stabber, when I spotted esuwy esuwy in a Nereus sitting on an Astrahus in Akora. Aha, I thought, let's try the Syeed Maneuver. The Stabber is an excellent bumping platform, so I easily sent the industrial ship flying. Then I closed in for the kill. As soon as I was in close, esuwy returned to the keyboard and landed a warp scrambler and webs on me. Then the Astrahus opened fire with some kind of freakin citadel drones or something, and down I went. RIP my purple stabber.

poor Stabber