Wednesday, June 15, 2022

The Ballad of Kalsigh Ravencrest


Kalsigh Ravencrest, Pandemic Horde
 In the red sun the rogue drones glowed

As Kalsigh Ravencrest approached

Their Vexor swift, their mighty drones

Drove the NPCs from their homes


They blew up all the rats and then

They warped to the next site and did it again

O krabbing was the finest thing

It made their wallet go “cha-ching”


O Kalsigh liked to krab all day

In R1O-GN they would play

They didn’t stop to pee or pray

They were krabbing AFK

They were krabbing AFK


They had no fear of enemies

They felt so safe and fancy free

They would krab from 4 to 3

Until the day they met Syeed

Until the day they met Syeed


Then from the night the pirate came

Syeed of Dirtbag Warrior fame

His Osprey warped where Kalsigh floated

His missiles flashed, and they exploded


“Sweet Kalsigh,” said Syeed, “Listen here

Ratting AFK is dangerous, I fear

But pay 100 million isk to me

And you can krab in total safety”


Kalsigh said “Hey listen guy

You must be pretty friggin high

If you think that you can possibly beat

The Pandemic Horde standing fleet!”


“You got lucky once,” they said

“But try again and you’ll be dead

With no delay you shall be killed

For I have joined a mighty guild!”


Random beauty shot

O Kalsigh liked to krab all day

In R1O-GN they would play

They didn’t stop to pee or pray

They were krabbing AFK

They were krabbing AFK


They had no fear of enemies

They felt so safe and fancy free

They would krab from 4 to 3

Until the day they met Syeed

Until the day they met Syeed


So Kalsigh’s Vexor went in space

Chasing NPCs all over the place

So when Syeed’s Osprey came to call

They weren't terrified at all


“Www,” in Fleet they cried

But in moments their Vexor died

The standing fleet ran to and fro

But for Syeed they were too slow


He blew their Vexor up and then

He did it again, and again, again and again

And just when we thought that he was through

He blew up another Vexor too



O Kalsigh liked to krab all day

In R1O-GN they would play

They didn’t stop to pee or pray

They were krabbing AFK

They were krabbing AFK


They had no fear of enemies

They felt so safe and fancy free

They would krab from 4 to 3

Until the day they met Syeed

Until the day they met Syeed


Some say Kalsigh is still out there

Krabbing AFK somewhere

But if that’s true, don’t be concerned

Pretty soon their ship will burn


When Kalsigh goes to bed at night

There’s one thing that brings them fright

Even though the evening quiet seems

Flashy red Syeed  invades their dreams


Come now children, gather near

‘Cuz there’s a big life lesson here-

If you want to krab with zero risk

Pay Syeed 100 million isk



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