Zybber's First Fleet

This is an after action report I took from our alliance forums, prettied up for blogging. Enjoy!

Young terrorist: Zybber

So I was minding my own business yesterday, when Zybber, an Icelandic chap who recently joined RVFRO remarked in corp chat that he had missed the previous night's Thrasher roam, and he had yet to get his first PvP kill. Obviously this was a situation that needed to be taken care of. So I decided to take him out into the asteroid belts of Solitude and gank a few miners. As we were getting ourselves ready, a few more guys logged on and decided to join the fun. I sent my spotter out into the belts in Boystin, and quickly found a small mining fleet, including an Orca and two Hulks, as well as assorted barges. A surreptitious scan confirmed that the Hulks had no tank. I did a few quick calculations and decided that we had enough DPS to kill both Hulks simultaneously. I would solo one of them with my 624 DPS Catalyst, while all of the other guys hit the other one.

This was the result.

We got a little bit of local smack out of it:
[ 2013.03.02 00:25:27 ] Kalim Dabo > gf
[ 2013.03.02 00:27:54 ] Dirk Scabbard > did you kill anything?
[ 2013.03.02 00:28:06 ] Kalim Dabo > Kill: ZIF W (Hulk)
[ 2013.03.02 00:29:11 ] LackofGuilt > fagits die in a fire
[ 2013.03.02 00:40:18 ] Aragoni > "fagits". Cool story bro

and a supporter hopped in our public channel to congratulate us:

[ 2013.03.02 00:38:58 ] Dirk Scabbard > I wondered why so many people were in local when I logged on
[ 2013.03.02 00:39:19 ] Marcus Aler0n > lol
[ 2013.03.02 00:39:56 ] Kalim Dabo > 11o/
[ 2013.03.02 00:39:58 ] Kalim Dabo > 0/
[ 2013.03.02 00:40:08 ] Kalim Dabo > cannot type today lol
[ 2013.03.02 00:40:15 ] Marcus Aler0n > I forgive you.
[ 2013.03.02 00:41:41 ] Dirk Scabbard > y'all solved a problem for me - yesterday I abandoned 5 Hob IIs in space: today I picked up 5 abandoned Hob IIs
[ 2013.03.02 00:41:49 ] Marcus Aler0n > lol
[ 2013.03.02 00:41:49 ] Kalim Dabo > lol
[ 2013.03.02 00:41:57 ] Kaleo Faust > glad we could help
[ 2013.03.02 00:42:00 ] Kalim Dabo > glad we could do you that service
[ 2013.03.02 00:42:55 ] Dirk Scabbard > Is it standard to put strip miner I on a Hulk?
[ 2013.03.02 00:44:33 ] Kalim Dabo > i have only seen that in places where ppl expected to be ganked, pretty unusual
[ 2013.03.02 00:45:19 ] Kalim Dabo > we were wondering why he went with the expensive mining upgrades, but T2 lasers and no crytals at all
[ 2013.03.02 00:45:30 ] Marcus Aler0n > ;lol
[ 2013.03.02 00:45:51 ] Marcus Aler0n > I put strip miner1's on a hulk cos I'm lazy and don't wanna fuck with crystals.
[ 2013.03.02 00:46:31 ] Dirk Scabbard > what are those mining upgrades worth?
[ 2013.03.02 00:46:39 ] Kalim Dabo > 15 mil each
[ 2013.03.02 00:46:47 ] Dirk Scabbard > well done
[ 2013.03.02 00:47:10 ] Kalim Dabo > yeah, usually you actually lose money killing miners
[ 2013.03.02 00:47:28 ] Kalim Dabo > it's more for sport than anything else
[ 2013.03.02 00:48:09 ] Dirk Scabbard > I'll bet you surprised them - you surprised me that you came to this neighborhood to gank miners
[ 2013.03.02 00:50:26 ] Kalim Dabo > haha
[ 2013.03.02 00:50:53 ] Kalim Dabo > it's always more fun when they least expect it

We made one mistake in this engagement - I forgot to remind everybody to take their safeties off prior to the warp-in. So while I was cheerfully exploding my target, they were fumbling with their safeties, and barely got a shot off before CONCORD arrived. Oh well, live and learn.

Ragtag band of Gankers

Anyway, more people logged on and wanted to join, so we waited out our timers and reshipped, then went out scouting more targets. A quick check of the ice belt in Niballe revealed 5 Mackinaws going about their business. I scanned a few of them and found 2 without significant tank. The challenge here was that they were spread out all over the belt. We had six or seven guys at this point, and it seemed a waste to just take one down. So I set up two bookmarks "Gank1" and "Gank2", and divided the squad to spread the DPS to kill both of them. All that was fine, but I made a few serious mistakes in the execution.(Perhaps a few too many beers at this point  ) I put the two groups in separate comms with separate direction to carry out the gank. This was stupid of me. I could have had us all warp to our respective targets at the same time, targets them at the same time, and fire at the same time without splitting us up like that. What can I say, I'm bad at EVE. Also, I myself warped to the wrong bookmark, meaning we had too much DPS on one target and not enough on the other. Anyway, we popped one Mack with a Pithi shield booster, and I got his pod too. Unfortunately the loot gods did not smile that day.

Mackinaw kill and Pod

We got a bit more reaction this time:

[ 2013.03.02 01:15:51 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Niballe
[ 2013.03.02 01:46:18 ] lxAlvoxl > wow guys really
[ 2013.03.02 01:46:33 ] Kalim Dabo > gf
[ 2013.03.02 01:46:34 ] Cael Sotken > yep
[ 2013.03.02 01:46:36 ] Cael Sotken > gf
[ 2013.03.02 01:46:39 ] Geyene > gf
[ 2013.03.02 01:46:49 ] Aragoni > GF
[ 2013.03.02 01:47:00 ] Melony Matudan > Marked Kos, watch your backs
[ 2013.03.02 01:47:17 ] Aragoni > and not a single care was given this day.
[ 2013.03.02 01:47:31 ] Kalim Dabo > oooooooooooh so scared
[ 2013.03.02 01:47:55 ] Melony Matudan > good
[ 2013.03.02 01:48:04 ] Kalim Dabo > http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfvpbpKscl1qafrh6.gif
[ 2013.03.02 01:48:41 ] Pyotr Kropotkin > poor bear =(
[ 2013.03.02 01:48:59 ] Melony Matudan > unsuspecting targets are the best targets
[ 2013.03.02 01:49:21 ] Geyene > unfortunately, you just told ust told us we're your targets
[ 2013.03.02 01:49:27 ] Geyene > soooooo we're kind of expecting it now
[ 2013.03.02 01:50:24 ] Melony Matudan > well you said you dont care lol so dont care haha
[ 2013.03.02 01:51:58 ] Sara Steel > you guys want to buy some new thrashers or guns for em?
[ 2013.03.02 01:53:10 ] Kalim Dabo > sure

Sara Steel was an ice miner in the belt who watched it all go down, and was eager to supply us with guns and ships to continue taking out his industrial rivals. He then convoed me:

[ 2013.03.02 01:53:27 ] Sara Steel > o/
[ 2013.03.02 01:53:33 ] Kalim Dabo > 0/
[ 2013.03.02 01:53:36 ] Sara Steel > what kind of guns you need for em?
[ 2013.03.02 01:53:41 ] Sara Steel > and/or other stuff
[ 2013.03.02 01:53:44 ] Kalim Dabo > lol
[ 2013.03.02 01:54:20 ] Kalim Dabo > we actually don't need them atm, but could use T2 light neutron blasters and 200mm autocannons soon
[ 2013.03.02 01:54:41 ] Kalim Dabo > good right atm, don't have much isk on my hands
[ 2013.03.02 01:54:44 ] Sara Steel > rgr.. I'll see if I can fire up some production on em
[ 2013.03.02 01:54:59 ] Kalim Dabo > cool
[ 2013.03.02 01:55:07 ] Kalim Dabo > talk to you soon then
[ 2013.03.02 01:55:14 ] Sara Steel > I'll try and make it a good deal  you helped me by blowing up my comptition out here
[ 2013.03.02 01:55:29 ] Sara Steel > and helped me and my associates sell our products.. macks and ice harvesters
[ 2013.03.02 01:55:36 ] Kalim Dabo > haha
[ 2013.03.02 01:55:50 ] Kalim Dabo > good times
[ 2013.03.02 01:55:58 ] Sara Steel > can you link me the kill? I want to know how stupid he was fitted
[ 2013.03.02 01:56:37 ] Kalim Dabo > Kill: Ursas Gasiminika (Mackinaw)
[ 2013.03.02 01:56:50 ] Kalim Dabo > pithi shoeld booster
[ 2013.03.02 01:56:53 ] Sara Steel > Wow.. nice loot
[ 2013.03.02 01:56:54 ] Sara Steel > pity it didn't drop
[ 2013.03.02 01:57:11 ] Kalim Dabo > loot gods didn't really smile on us, but good bragging rights
[ 2013.03.02 01:57:50 ] Kalim Dabo > later o7

You have to love how opportunistic EVE players are - as we called it a night and left the system, another guy was complaining in local about the poor quality of salvage he had gotten from our little adventure.

After the last kill, I hear an unmistakably Scandanavian accent in Teamspeak. It was Zybber. "Uh...I fucked up man. You want me to loot the wrecks?" Poor guy missed the warp-in and didn't get a shot off. Rest assured, I'll make sure he kills something soon.